I actually thought that this week couldn't possibly get any worse, but when you think like that why is it that more then 99.9% of the time it does. Hey it could be worse? That's the question you always ask your self when things just go BOOM in front of you. Friday was perfect, everything running the way I like it - just fine. Then slowly as the week progresses it has just got gradually worse.
I knew that Saturday when I fell out with Yazz ( the best friend )when we were both completely wankered in all senses of the word. Who knew that we could drink such copious amounts of alcohol and nearly destroy our friendship on both parts? Its not easy to forgive an uncalled slap (Thanks yazz much appreciated haha) or on my part accusations. Now not truly knowing completely what the other one of us is thinking - trying to pick up the pieces. I know we will in time, cause we always do. We won't simply throw it away because it has a dent in or is slightly broken. No, we will work and allow time to be the healer.
Same can't be said for the guy that was in my life, I lost him due to the stupidity of alcohol. I mean yeah I liked him, I liked the way he motivated me into doing things, the same way Yazz has that effect on me. I liked the way I could have the closeness of a relationship without the commitment, the way I had someone else to believe in me other then my best friend. And that's the way I wanted it to stay but alcohol knows no boundaries, no fears and no feelings. It goes where no other twat would. Turns you into a attention seeking drama queen, a person you never aspire to be.
So I spent my last day just you know chilling, relaxing cause I knew I needed to spend some time just you know doing nothing and worrying about nothing before I head back to work. So on yet another day sober me, Marion (an innocent but naughty french girl I work with) and Yazmina headed down to the beach to watch the sunset, of course Fred tagged along this time :). It was lovely you know just actually sat there at sunset when a majority of the people had gone home. I could hear the waves, see the sea almost completely calm after no doubt another hectic day and smell that gorgeous sea air.
When we finally decided to head back, we all agreed on visiting the pub that I and Marion both work. As you know I'm determined to stop this drinking nonsense, so I done the sensible thing and ordered my self an orange & passion fruit J20. YUMMY! However my yumminess and joy was short lived when I overhead my manager discussing giving a co-worker a supervisor role that quite frankly shocked me. Anyone who knows me will know I work my arse off at my job. I thought if anyone would have been offered it next it would have to be me. 9 times out of 10 I will always cover. I done feedback cards the company insisted we handed out - which I did and everybody else failed to do. I know the ins and outs of the place.
So naturally I wasn't going to be quiet the big mouth I am nope. Of course not, I don't let things lie and just niggle at my brain. Things are better said to someones face, rather then to their back. I simply confronted my manager. I kinda exaggerated a tad - I left in fear of making a scene (I don't like drawing unwanted attention to my self sober) and confronted him via text.
He basically said that they had been asking for it - and to be honest I think I may have lost all last respect I had for the human race. THANK THE LORD FOR FRED. I mean what happened to working your arse of like I do? Even suffering with the biggest headache because of drinking. Nope apparently begging and arse licking is the way forward if you'd like a promotion. Some of you should try it see how you get on. I suppose if I look at this optimistically I could think ahh well this is gonna be easy. No more having to do everyone's cover, oh look and I can just laze around and let other people do the hard work. But I do not want and will not do that.
I feel completely knocked down but I know I will get back up and brush it off eventually. Ranting on here helps you know. Must say though I feel sorry for the poor sod that reads it ha.
Anyways maybe I should leave it there. Tomorrow is another day, it will get better again. It always does. Although no doubt working with my manager tomorrow is gonna be both painful and awkward, I'd ring up sick, but would will I hell let any bastard show that they've got me down. Peace out. xx
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