Well yesterday started of relatively easy. I literally woke up had some cereal and a coffee. Obviously with Fred by my side. At first people were abit skeptical of what I was trying to achieve here with Fred, but my best friend Yazminge understands and after alot of convincing so is her mum Julie.
I haven't been home since Monday afternoon, I needed a break and some much needed time with Yazz. Bless her, she woke up before me and found me cuddling Fred. (Picture below).
And as most of you know for the first time in like 5 years, we are actually getting a decent summer - about freakin' time! So, naturally me, Yazz and Fred hit the garden for our dose of vitimin D :). A majority of the day was spent chilling, with random snapchats of Fred and his sunburn! I can honestly say, that most people were amused by these. I love creating random pictures with him :) takes my mind of things and trust me that is not a bad thing with me, I overthink and over analyse almost every thought that comes into my head.
I used to suffer from an anxiety disorder, panic attacks are a massive enemy of mine. Weird thing is I spent ages not drinking cause hangovers used to intensify my anxiety and thoughts. Then drinking more gradually made my panic attacks almost non- exsistent.
By about five o'clock I found myself having to many thoughts and focusing to much on them. I was wondering what ifs, what if I never done this, what if I never done that? Imagine having these thoughts, but 100x more then you would think about them. I knew that if I didnt stop thinking that I would build up the anxiousness inside me and have a full blown panic attack.
I couldn't do much with Fred as he was wet and on the washing line - I took him for a swim earlier in the day. So I did what I like to do best to stop me from thinking - read. I read a majority of a newspaper on my phone , then tried to read a book on feng shui. Which gave me another idea, I shut my self in the conservatory and I tried a variety of yoga and mediation techniques. All the while I could hear the birds singing, bees still buzzing and I can honestly say that it was the best thing I could of done.
Me and yazz decided to go for a stroll with out Fred as he was still hanging on the line. Poor Fred. We walked along the beach and just listened to the waves just gently crashing. I love the smell of sea air, I would actually live right on the beach if I could.
On the way back would you believe we bumped into a man down a rough street, he tried to offer us a bottle of wine. Wasn't even full. I mean urm, seriously? What was he thinking we would just be like yes dude why the hell not? So, being the hypochondriacs we are, we ran as fast as we could. That is the first time I've rejected alcohol since I've made my decision to give it up all together. But let's face it, wasn't exactly a decision that was hard to make, I mean what actual weirdo would accept a half drunk unsealed bottle of wine from a stranger in a street?
Back to work for a 12 hour shift tomorrow - surrounded by drink, drunks and temptation.
I know I can do this, especially with little Freddie by my side.
I haven't been home since Monday afternoon, I needed a break and some much needed time with Yazz. Bless her, she woke up before me and found me cuddling Fred. (Picture below).
And as most of you know for the first time in like 5 years, we are actually getting a decent summer - about freakin' time! So, naturally me, Yazz and Fred hit the garden for our dose of vitimin D :). A majority of the day was spent chilling, with random snapchats of Fred and his sunburn! I can honestly say, that most people were amused by these. I love creating random pictures with him :) takes my mind of things and trust me that is not a bad thing with me, I overthink and over analyse almost every thought that comes into my head.
I used to suffer from an anxiety disorder, panic attacks are a massive enemy of mine. Weird thing is I spent ages not drinking cause hangovers used to intensify my anxiety and thoughts. Then drinking more gradually made my panic attacks almost non- exsistent.
By about five o'clock I found myself having to many thoughts and focusing to much on them. I was wondering what ifs, what if I never done this, what if I never done that? Imagine having these thoughts, but 100x more then you would think about them. I knew that if I didnt stop thinking that I would build up the anxiousness inside me and have a full blown panic attack.
I couldn't do much with Fred as he was wet and on the washing line - I took him for a swim earlier in the day. So I did what I like to do best to stop me from thinking - read. I read a majority of a newspaper on my phone , then tried to read a book on feng shui. Which gave me another idea, I shut my self in the conservatory and I tried a variety of yoga and mediation techniques. All the while I could hear the birds singing, bees still buzzing and I can honestly say that it was the best thing I could of done.
Me and yazz decided to go for a stroll with out Fred as he was still hanging on the line. Poor Fred. We walked along the beach and just listened to the waves just gently crashing. I love the smell of sea air, I would actually live right on the beach if I could.
On the way back would you believe we bumped into a man down a rough street, he tried to offer us a bottle of wine. Wasn't even full. I mean urm, seriously? What was he thinking we would just be like yes dude why the hell not? So, being the hypochondriacs we are, we ran as fast as we could. That is the first time I've rejected alcohol since I've made my decision to give it up all together. But let's face it, wasn't exactly a decision that was hard to make, I mean what actual weirdo would accept a half drunk unsealed bottle of wine from a stranger in a street?
Back to work for a 12 hour shift tomorrow - surrounded by drink, drunks and temptation.
I know I can do this, especially with little Freddie by my side.
P.S: Add me on instagram Bumbleflea :)
Everyone seems to be moaning about the hot weather we are receiving, yet do nothing but moan before that we are not getting any? Yazminges Grandad told me today, that this weather is what it would be like to be halfway towards heaven. I think this image captures that perfectly, if you look at the bottom cloud you can see a Phoenix :)
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